🎶“It’s the MOST WONDERFUL time of the YEAR!!”🎶
No, it’s not Christmas time just yet, but…it’s my BIRTHDAY MONTH!!!
I LOVE when my birthday comes around, because
A: It means another year of life.
and
B: I get excited thinking about all I want to accomplish, while also reflecting on the previous year. It’s like my own personal new year!!
A couple of weeks ago, my therapist kickstarted my birthday reflections when she asked me to answer how I see myself and how I want to be seen. The question sounded simple, but honestly for me…it had me stuck. Actually, I’m STILL thinking about it.
For most of my life, I feel like I’ve been seen as the responsible one, the quiet one, the rule-follower, the smart one, and the “good girl,” which there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of these, they ARE me; however, I also feel like that’s what I had to be.
Yes, I’m responsible, but I love when other people can get things done, because why am I always the one?
Yes, I’m quiet, but there are so many things that go through my mind that I want to say, but sometimes am afraid, and I’m also trying to filter my thoughts so it can come out pleasant. 🙂
Yes, I follow rules, but I find myself questioning a lot of things now. It’s like I’m going through my “Why?” stage that kids go through, but as an adult.
Yes, I’m smart, but I have been known to make some dumb decisions.
I don’t even know what a “good girl,” means for real, but even in its vagueness it felt like pressure to uphold, and I would sometimes feel like a disappointment when I would do something that wasn’t considered “good.”
All these things are me, on some level, but I am so much more!
As I prepare for another trip around the sun, I’m excited to be me…BOLDLY, every part of me…baby steps though, while also embarking on a journey of discovery: experiencing and learning new things about myself!!!
Simply Dominique 